


Voices of Genosha: If you can afford magic cards, you can afford soap.

by Quill18



Series: Voices of Genosha [7]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Genosha, Latveria (Marvel), Magic The Gathering - Freeform, Podfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:51:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quill18/pseuds/Quill18
Summary: "Those who do not apply basic hygiene will be gifted with free hygienic supplies. *sighs* If the disgusting smell is due to mental health reasons, our world-class medical care will aid the Genoshan in need. Repeat offenses by any Genoshan citizen, resident and even visitor that dare to reek in public in gaming events, will lead to mandatory janitorial duties as punishment along with an announcement to their local neighborhood game mercantile to ban them. "---In which Magneto is embarrassed by Genoshan citizens who refuse to shower before big magic the gathering tournaments.  Podfic.





	Voices of Genosha: If you can afford magic cards, you can afford soap.

**Author's Note:**

> Credits:  
> Writer/Quill18/EelWaffles  
> Fic/Art Tumblr: https://quill18fandom.tumblr.com/  
> Tikkum Olam:Genosha Project Website: https://quill18.weebly.com/
> 
> Magneto/Radmax525: https://twitter.com/radmax525?lang=en
> 
> Sound Editor/Cass: https://twitter.com/JestersOrders?lang=en  
> 

Podcast/Audio File:<https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/voicesofgenosha/episodes/2019-06-19T17_49_06-07_00>

 

"Citizens! Residents and Visitors!

 

There are those among us who *dare* to bring shame to our country.

 

They are the unwashed, the ones with a pungent aroma not caused by a precious mutation. Nay, they refuse to shower, bathe, apply basic hygiene when representing our fair country on the international stage, embarrassing us in front of our lessers, the humans.

 

Last week, I had the pleasure of joining my son, Pietro, in a high-level Magic:The Gathering Tournament. While I usually indulge in the vintage format in my scant free time, my little one wished for me to join him among the masses to play in the modern format at the Grand Prix in Doomstadt, Latveria.

 

A break from my diplomatic visit to Lord Doom.

 

While meeting with fellow Genoshans playing our favorite card games, I suffered the unfortunate event of having my sense of smell assaulted by the fellow unwashed who brought shame to our country.

 

It is not helping my temper that Lord Doom's Doombots had to febreeze the entire crowd for the out of country tourists who refused to represent their home properly. I did enjoy the sight of the Doombots picking up my fellow players who refused to be civilized and learn hygiene, and then taking them to the lavatories for a mandatory wash.

To my precious Gensohan citizens who have brought shame and embarrassment to me: Aaron, Char, Fledge, Daniel, Tentacles, Harry, Notches, Gears, Joanna, Umbra, and Ezekiel, you will find that a gift basket of soap, deodorant, shampoo, and perfumes have been delivered to your homes along with a mandatory summons to a class on basic hygiene and etiquette, since you all have forgotten the basic lessons your parents should've imparted on you.

If it a mental health issue, a social worker will be dispatched to your homes. I have informed Genoshan game mercantiles to escort out any guests and customers that have the audacity to reek in public, mutations aside, and if the merchant does not, fear not, the merchant will be fined severely. Those who do not apply basic hygiene will be gifted with free hygienic supplies.

 

*sighs* If the disgusting smell is due to mental health reasons, our world-class medical care will aid the Genoshan in need.

Repeat offenses by any Genoshan citizen, resident and even visitor that dare to reek in public in gaming events, will lead to mandatory janitorial duties as punishment along with an announcement to their local neighborhood game mercantile to ban them. That is all.

 

Genosha.

 

We protect our own.

 

Even the smelly ones."

**Author's Note:**

> I have legitly been in magic the gathering events where the whole crowd got febreezed. It was summer and I was surrounded by neckbeards. -shudders-


End file.
